Talking Stalk: A GUEST POST!!!!

 OH MY GOODNESS it makes me so happy to announce a GUEST POST. My love for brussels sprouts nearly rivals my love of my friend Adam, so this is just perfect. I do love to roast them at impossibly high temperatures and then eat the leaves that fall off like potato chips-- but now I am totally going to make brussels sprout-ham bites. Adam, you are my hero.

An Exploration of a Snack Pariah: Brussel Sprouts

Today in true Make Your Own Pudding fashion, I decided to audaciously expound on a foodstuff that has been wrinkling noses for centuries: brussel sprouts.  And like my dear friend Lily, I am prone to make even the oddest item into an easy-to-snarf snack.

The wonderful qualities of brussel sprouts can elude even the most open-minded vegetable lover.  Not only a little tough and bitter, badly done ‘sprouts have tinny quality which is all their own.  However, cooked just right this signature flavor can blossom into a delectable backdrop for the well rounded meal. 

Usually I will just half or quarter the little cabbages, cover with olive oil, coarse salt, pepper and garlic and roast at 400F until they are brown and crispy on the edges and sweet smelling (and tasting! yum!).  This is the tasty side dish I had in mind when I saw the bold display of brussel sprouts still on the stalk at my local Trader Joes. 

I am sure I am not the first to be beguiled by the site of a whole brussel sprout stalks.  Exotic and robust (and 2+ feet long!), the stalks can seduce us into forgetting experiences of the banefully bitter bits that show up on dinner plates.  Trader Joes had a bushel of them begging me to undertake a food adventure, leave it them to make food fun.  So, I grabbed a stalk and headed home, not knowing what this bludgeon de brussels had in store for me.

Little did I know that these ‘sprouts would be meant to grace the crudite table at my family’s upcoming holiday party, not surreptitiously eaten at a private dinner affair.  My mother, the consummate hostess, has been obsessing about foody things to hold cheese, wrap in bacon or squirt in filo shells for weeks.  Considering the snackable size of brussel sprouts, I realized that these little monsters might fit the bill.  How, though, to cook them? 

Patting each other on the back for being true America’s Test Kitchen candidates, Mama Holt and I decided to cover our bases and steam them, roast them, and (my first thought) deep fry them.  First, to make them snack sized we cut the top quarter inch off laterally and then hollowed them out.  The result is a dimpled bite that holds together remarkably well.  You can cut the bottom so they stand upright, too.  With that tough core exposed, they cook a little through a little faster I imagine. 

To steam, just a quarter inch of water was needed in a sauce pan.  They cooked covered for about 7 minutes and were done.  The result was pretty good.  They had a little bite, but the core was soft and meaty and the leaves a fresh shell.  I figure they would be good with a bit of sweetness like hunk of honey ham inside, or a walnut, maple syrup goat cheese mixture.

The roasting took some more thought.  I poured quarter inch of oil in a glass pan and rolled the sprouts around in it, making sure some of the oil got into the dimple.  We heated the oven to 450F for 10 minutes.  I found that they roasted best when placed upside down.  That way the leafy part got crispy, sizzling in the oil, resulting in a sweet crisp crunch on top and a soft delicious center.  We tried it with a cream cheese spread that had chives and red peppers in it and it was quite good.  I could even imagine it with chicken salad, tapenade or roasted red pepper spread.   

“Deep” frying was the most fun, of course, and it cooked the fastest.  Deep in quotes because it only takes about an inch of oil to cover the sprouts.  We put a stray leaf in and waited for it to start bubbling to make sure the oil was hot before we put the brussels in.  After about five minutes, we grabbed them with tongs and placed on some paper towels.  The result was a golden brown blossom that was sweet, crunchy and wonderfully textured—not too heavy, but just  oily enough to qualify as a sometimes food.  These guys would be good with the above toppings, but I got a little carried away and grabbed a bag of mini semi-sweet chocolate morsels we had sitting around from a holiday baking project.  I sprinkled them in one of the sprouts, watched as they melted slightly and popped it in my mouth—not bad at all.  Try it, I dare you!

mushroom and boursin tart

On a "success" note, this is one of the most delicious things I have ever made. A vast improvement over the already sophisticated, crowd favorite, mentioned in the first ever post on this here blog mushroom-goatcheese-pizza.


1 sheet puff pastry (or pizza dough, I suppose, although I have totally started going steady with puff pastry. It has my class ring and everything)
1 container white mushrooms
container of Boursin cheese (or goat cheese, or gruyere)
rosemary
thyme

--Let the puff pastry thaw while you heat a pan with some olive oil. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees, while you're at it.
--Slice the mushrooms. Button mushrooms are so amazing; they always look so forlorn and 1950s next to the fancy mushrooms at the grocery store, but once they're cooked I swear no one will complain. Don't be fooled: white button mushrooms are the little, cheap mushroom that could.
--Throw the mushrooms in a saucepan over medium heat and add salt, pepper, and thyme. Three pinches, let's say. Be patient. The mushrooms will brown and then start to cook down. If they start to dry out before shrinking, add some more oil. or wine.
--When the mushrooms have started to make their own gravy, add a few teaspoons of chopped rosemary. DOES THIS OR DOES THIS NOT SMELL LIKE HEAVEN?
--Cook a few more minutes until the mushrooms are juicy and soft. Patience + white button mushrooms = restaurant quality (honest!) sauce. Not only for this tart, but polenta or chicken too.
--Roll out the puff pastry so it's a little thinner and place in a baking pan/ sheet. Put the mushrooms and little crumbles of Boursin on top.
--Bake for 15-20 minutes until the pastry is puffed and golden brown. Slice and serve. It's delicious cold, too, but... it won't last that long.

"i'm kind of a big deal" stupidly easy zucchini tart

Classy lunch alert! Bringing a slice of this guy to the office just screams "I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." Or for those doldrum days when you need to remind yourself that "you're kind of a big deal." Don't we all have those?

Set 2/3 a sheet of puff pastry on the countertop to defrost.... remember that time you made the cheesy poofs? Or a whole sheet. Whatevs.

Place whatever farm-fresh bound to be delicious thing suits your fancy on there-- for me, zucchini and summer squash that I knew would carry the day, thinly sliced, decoratively placed. Nice kosher salt and fresh ground pepper. 15 minutes at 400 and a simple, delicious, very, very, classy tart is all yours.

impress your loved ones with cheesy poofs

Otherwise known as savory palmiers... because that sounds much more romantic and less like you are just eating cheesy poofs.

The timing is kind of funny because right after I made these the other night, cheese straws were up on smittenkitchen. Well folks, I have been there and done that. These require less work and look way more presentable (uh, than mine, anyway)... if you need to present them to someone other than your belly.

Cheese puffs

1 sheet puff pastry from the freezer aisle (don't worry about unfolding it, just separate the thirds for cute little cheesy poofs)
some cheddar/gruyere/pecorino & parmesan cheese (I used cheddar because my dad buys it in 1 lb bricks literally every week. Also I am secretly a mouse.)

OK! Preheat the oven to 400.

Roll out each of the thirds so that you get more bang for your buck.

Now grate some cheese on there so that you have a nice layer without going nutso; press the cheese in a little for OPTIMAL distribution.

Ok now pretend you are making palmiers... roll each side into the center. Like so:

They should be kind of adorable. Like all delicious snacks. Uh. I don't know.

Slice the log and put your puffs on a baking sheet-- 15 minutes or so (20, maybe: until they look brownish and delicious) and you're done.

mushroom risotto

O
h weather: you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no. What to do when skirt weather turns into jacket weather? Make risotto! It's cheap and hearty and doesn't actually take that long, especially if you have some sweet podcasts to listen to or people over to entertain you while you stir or what have you.

1 cup arborio rice (short grain)
1 tbs. olive oil
1/2 cup dry white wine (NOTE: we all know that the best risotto is made from Chateau Diana purchased from Appletree in the middle of the day while looking over your shoulder sheepishly. If you cannot recreate this glorious culinary experience, this is delicious without wine)
1/4 cup (or until you get bored grating) grated parmesan
4-5 cups hot chicken stock OR veggie stock OR mushroom stock
1 large onion, chopped (or a couple of shallots)
1 cup dried mushrooms

Reconstitute some fancypants mushrooms you've got kicking around in boiling water. Or / and fry some button mushrooms.

Heat olive oil in a big ole pot. Fry up the onion until it's translucent/smells delicious. Meanwhile, heat up your stock, veg or not. If you used dried mushrooms, you should for sure throw some of that mushroom stock in there. 5 cups.



Add the rice to the onion and stir until grains are coated with oil. If you are going the wine route, add wine and stir constantly on medium heat until wine is absorbed. Add one cup hot stock, stirring until liquid is absorbed. Then add some more stock and keep stirring. When that is absorbed, add some more and stir some more. This is the part that takes awhile.

When you're almost done, add the mushrooms (chopped, if you're not there yet.) Now take it off the heat, stir in that cheese, and eat up. In like a lion, out like a lamb, right? Whatever: I'm California dreamin' until April.

she's back!

Well, cooking adventures have been kind of slow this last month or so with one big honking exception:

Candy. Candied citrus peels actually.

These are so good, not that hard to make, and really fancy looking. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon... or say something nice in capital letters. like THANK YOU (now admit me to grad school edition) or HAPPY HOLIDAYS (planning for next year edition) or I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LET'S MAKE OUT (valentines day edition).

So here's the scoop: grapefruit is way too bitter, I tried it so you don't have to. Lemons and oranges were delicious, I bet that limes would also be knockout.

Peel the fruit and slice it. Yes, this takes forever. I did three lemons and four oranges, which made enough stuff for four people to have a little gifty-sized package. I found that the peel first cut second approach worked better than the "try to cut rectangles on the fruit then peel" approach.

"Reserve the fruit for another purpose." I made lemon/orange/grapefruit-aid. Just add seltzer and more sugar than you would expect.

OK now plop these in a pot of boiling water. Boil for like ten minutes. Now change the water and reboil. Now do it again! Again, monkey, again! 5 times. I did a control round where I meticulously scraped off the pith of the lemon rinds. It made kind of a less substantial chewier candy and tasted just noticably less bitter. So unless you are super bitter-averse, forget it.

Now heat up 1/4 cup water and 1/2 cup sugar for every 2 cups of peel. My 4 oranges and 3 lemons were pretty much two cups, for the record. Let it get all liquidified then dump the peels in there. Simmer (or boil) until the peels absorb all the liquid. Don't let them burn, stir a lot and monitor the heat. I would say this step took like 20 minutes? Everything should be a sticky mess.



With a slotted spoon (or your hands, if you can't feel heat-- hiyo!) transfer these guys to a plate of sugar before the syrup cools and your sticky mess gets even stickier. If it does, just reheat until the sugar melts again. Roll them around in sugar them let them cure for a few hours/overnight on a baking sheet covered with tin foil or waxed paper. Are they dry? Good.

Now melt some chocolate. I used Ghiradelli chocolate chips (60% cacao) because they were like 3 bucks and I only needed to use like 2/3 the bag. Do the math, son. If you make orange juice/lemonade, that brings the price of these puppies down to the price of the chocolate. 2 dollars for 4 presents is a pretty good deal. If you want to use cheaper chocolate, whatever. If you want to use classier bars of baking chocolate, whatever.



So melt the chocolate in a double boiler if you have a dishwasher or in the microwave if you have a microwave. Be careful that it doesn't burn, obviously. Stirring helps because chocolate melts before it looks like its melted. 1 minute?

Now dip the peels in the chocolate (you can leave a little tail of the peel so that you have somewhere to hold and the presentation is ultimately more elegant) and let that cool in the fridge or over a tray of ice. Voila. More coming soon, I miss blogging.

fondue stuffed squash

Well team, it's almost time for that most food-related of holidays. I also fare pretty well on the allergy front: except for some nutty stuffings and the occasional a-hole who brings pecan pie, thanksgiving dinner is pretty lily-proof.

And while I actually pretty much just gorge myself on dad's stuffing and cranberry sauce and squash and call it a night, Thanksgiving has kind of a bad rep of being "food sensitivity" unfriendly.

And so this entry begins the list of delicious nut-free soy-free vegetarian fall-like dishes... add your own ideas or "lily's test kitchen" possibilities in the comments.



This recipe comes with a book review! I just finished Tender at the Bone, Ruth Reichl (NYT food editor and editor-in-chief of Gourmet) 's memoir. It's one of those brilliant "not-mentally-taxing-but-not-trashy" books that are kind of hard to find. Because while none of the stories involve her doing anything too noteworthy, her writing is big fun and the stories are all about food. Which makes me happy because everything in my life is kind of about food, too.

After cooking my fondue-stuffed squash featured in this month's Gourmet, I got to the part of the book where she invents the dish in college. Something about the double whammy of reading about the delicious lunch I had just made warmed my heart.

Fondue-stuffed squash

QUICK AND DIRTY (serves one or two. really just one if it's your meal):
a squash (acorn! or your favorite, but round is good)
a crusty roll
fondue in a box



Preheat the oven to 450.
Slice the roll and toast it well.
Cut the squash 3/4 and 1/4, so that it is like a bowl with a small cap on top, scoop out the seeds and create a good sized hollow.
Layer the toast and fondue generously inside the hollowed out squash, put the cap back on, cook for an hour or so until the squash is tender. Now eat it!


FANCY PANTS TABLE PRESENTATIONAL (for a crowd)
a pumpkin
a sliced baguette (probably will be leftovers, just... eat them!)
1 cup cream
1 cup veggie broth
pinch nutmeg
glug white wine
2 1/2 cups each, Gruyere and Emmenthal

You get the drill: 450, toast the bread and prepare the pumpkin.
Mix the nutmeg into the cream.
Layer the toast with the cheese, broth, cream and wine. It will all get copacetic inside the oven, so don't fret too much about mixing.
Cook for about an hour and a half until the pumpkin is soft and your kitchen smells like heaven.

"why the hell did i make this galette?" galette

I got too inspired by smittenkitchen from my cooking blogroll at work-- she posted a cabbage and mushroom galette, and we just happened to have a lot of cabbage and mushrooms kicking it in the fridge needing to be eaten before I can cook some EXCITING, NEW PRODUCE. Yeah, I live in the suburbs, new produce in the fridge is exciting, what about it?

Anyway, it's been a long day, I'm listening to Johnny Cash, started cooking after work, then went to spinning class and a family friend who is sitting shiva and ate a buttload of delicious noodle kugel and tried to pretend like I am a respectable adult. So we come back and I am full and tired and finishing this thing is a serious slog. But it was so delicious at midnight and the ingredients are cheap and the end result is actually kind of healthy, believe it or not. Kind of a psycho weekday project, but I bet this free-form tart would be simply the most impressive thing at your vegetarian thanksgiving potluck.

Not really a great weeknight meal mushroom and cabbage galette

from Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone via SmittenKitchen.

Yeah, here's another thing-- we had this cookbook in our apartment for three years and the only thing I ever cooked out of it was kale with red pepper flakes. And then I got home and realized that the reason the recipe seemed kind of intuitive and easy was that it is exactly the same way my mom cooks greens. Basically, that cookbook is mad fussy and needlessly pretentious for lazy (normal?) homecooks, and so is this savory tart. But its not actually so hard, especially if it is for a dinner party.

First you gotta make some savory dough. The dough I made kind of sucked, but I guess it was my fault for adding the recommended 1/4 cup of water when the dough was already downright gooshy. And it redeemed itself in the end, mostly.

Try this one:

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Pate-Brisee-10291

Or buy a pie crust from the store, I won't judge you.

Ok, so the filling is actually freakin delicious.

An onion
A box of mushrooms (the cheap kind)
A handful of dried fancy pants mushrooms (which I havent used since that time Shira bought a massive bagful from the Asian convenience store and they looked nasty and awful... but having them on hand is actually awesome and I would recommend it)(or, if you listen to Veg Cooking for Everyone, buy a whole mess of fancy fresh mushrooms for like a million dollars.)
A head of cabbage
Thyme, tarragon, and dill
A hard-boiled egg (or not)
1/4 cup sour cream

Oven to 400 degrees

Chop and cook up the onion and mushrooms until they are getting all carmelized and happy. And save the dried mushroom water, if you aren't in the habit.

Throw in the cabbage (finely chopped) and a hearty pinch of salt and a shake of each of the herbs (or the chopped fresh herbs, if you are really trying to impress some hot vegetarian at the vegetarian potluck and it's worth the trip to the grocery store for ya).

Add like half a cup of the mushroom water. Oh yeah, that's good stuff.

Cook until mushy-- like 15 or twenty minutes? If it's sloppy, drain some of those yummy drippings and throw a quarter cup of sour cream in there. And the chopped hardboiled egg, if you actually took the time to do that step.

Pam the hell out of a cookie sheet and spread/roll out the pie crust. Artistically heap the filling in the middle and fold up the edges around the filling.

Bake at 400 for around 40 minutes.

Impress your friends and loved ones.